Do you ever try and put your heart and soul into something that you are so proud of and it turns out to be a flop or a waste of time? I have many times. I keep picking myself up and putting myself out there to no avail. It's like it's not in the plan of the universe. Success eludes you, and financial stability slips through your fingers. At some point, you have to ask yourself if it's worth it. How many times does one need to be knocked down for it to sink in? This is not the path you are supposed to be on, try something else. The thing is I don't know what else to try. I'm at a loss.
These feelings bring me back to my childhood, moving from place to place, always being the new kid in school and no one wants to be your friend. Most of the people have friends from the time they were in kindergarten and are still friends today, I don't have that. I don't want you to feel sorry for me I have plenty of acquaintances and a beautiful family, but today I just feel lost, and wish I had that one lifelong friend.
I tried to find a poem I wrote about the face that we put on for the world to see is nothing but a facade for what is hiding behind it. I will continue to look for it. I think it will hit home for a lot of people, especially women. Putting on make-up, nails, hair extensions just to put a fake facade for the world. I know why we do it, we say we do it to make us feel better, but in reality, we do it because we know the world is going to judge you just by your appearance. And let's face it, it feels good when someone tells you, you look pretty, or you are beautiful. Why does our self-worth hinge on what people think of us. I know I do this as well. I am trying to get to a point in my life that I don't give a fuck what people think. It's harder than I thought, but that is the goal I am working towards. So, for those that need to hear it, you are beautiful just the way you are and don't let anyone tell you different!
I'm getting very nervous about the release of Tortured Soul. I am worried that people won't like it and totally rip it apart. I guess that is to be expected. I never claimed to be an author or a very good writer, I just have all of these stories in my head that I need to put on paper to make room for more stories. I really hope that people see all the time (years) it has taken to get this book out, not to mention overcoming the fear of judgement.
I am currently working on 3 more adult books, and 1 more children's book. I'm not sure when they will be done, but please stay tuned and I will keep you updated on the progress. 2 of the novels I'm 8 chapters in; Mirrored Souls-Shattered and The Altar Boy. Mirrored Souls is the continuation of Tortured Soul, and The Altar Boy, will stand alone.
I am hoping, that once I sell the condo and get into a house with more room, I will be selling my books from this website! I can't wait!
Have a wonderful day!
If there is one thing I cannot stand is people that are nice to your face and then talk about you as soon as your back is turned.
It's even worse when that person is above you at work. This particular person talks about everyone in the company and then treats them like they are the best thing since sliced bread when face to face or talking to them on the phone. (I know, I'm aging myself with that sliced bread line.) Anyway, obviously I know if this person does it to everyone else, the same thing is done to me when I'm not around. Well, today that was confirmed. I hate having to leave the office to attend a meeting, especially if I have to attend the exact same meeting when it happens at the office I work in. Not a big deal. Well, today, the person that talks about everyone, came in and said that I had to attend the meeting tomorrow. First of all, I never said I was not going to attend, and secondly even if I did say I didn't want to go, why tell them I wasn't going to attend. It's things like this that make going into an office miserable. I wish I could afford to just stay home and write my books. Not having to deal with the backstabbing of corporate life sounds like a dream! Could be the subject of an upcoming book. LOL
Well today is eclipse day. I hope those of you who are in the path use protection when observing. There are a lot of conspiracy theories out there, I can't believe the shit people believe now a days. I don't know why people need to put stuff on the internet just to make people scared to live their lives. It's an eclipse, we have had many of them. I don't know why todays should be any different than any of the previous ones.
Please don't believe everything you read, do your research. I'm not just talking about today; I'm talking about all situations. Life is too short to constantly live in fear. Enjoy your day, make the best of your life, don't let the internet conspiracy theorists rule your thoughts. Be you and think for yourselves.
Some good news on the novels. Tortured Soul is hopefully in its final edit stage, hoping release date of 4/15. In attempts to keep my mind occupied, I am on Chapter 8 of the follow up novel, Mirrored Souls -Shattered. I'll keep you posted.
Have a wonderful hump-day!
So, I submitted Tortured Soul for printing, and was told my margins were off. When I adjusted my margins, it screwed up the entire book, running sentences together. I am currently going through the novel page by page, line by line to put spaces in between words. Then I will have to go through it again to ensure I didn't miss any. That's the updater there.
Also, my first appointment with the dietician is on Monday. Scared, nervous, and upset all rolled into one. I'll update you on both topics on Tuesday.
Thank you for your support.
Good afternoon. Just wanted to fill you in on an incident that happened yesterday. A realtor booked an appointment to show our condo yesterday morning. She wanted it available from 9:30 - 10:30 in the morning. I got up early, made sure the house was clean and left my house at 9:20 for a walk on the beach. Now it was nice and sunny, but the temperature was in the 50's with high winds. So, I could hardly breathe. After an hour, I went and sat in my car for another 15 minutes. Now it's 10:45. I texted my realtor (my husband) and asked if they were done with the showing. He texted the other agent and he did not receive a response. We assumed, yes, I know the old saying, that it was safe to head up to the condo. I wasn't up there more than 5 minutes when I saw them walk by my window. I quickly opened the door and scared the shit out of them. I said, I'm sorry. I thought you were going to be here from 9:30 to 10:30. Her only response was, "We're running a bit late."
No shit Sherlock. Whatever happened to being considerate and notify someone when you are running late
Sebastian, The Hairless Squirrel is getting very good reviews. This makes me so happy. I want the next generation, that no matter what they look like, sound like, or how rich or poor they are, they matter. Bullying has become an epidemic, and as a Mimi of two small grandchildren, I want better for them. This little book is just a small step in building self-esteem, and self-acceptance, it's a stepping stone into changing the way we treat each other. There is no room for hate, we need to embrace each other's differences not tear people down because of them.
Be kind and be accepting of everyone's differences. Peace and happiness to you.
So, most people I work with no nothing about me. They know the basics, married, 2 children, 2 grandchildren, but that's about it. I decided to put myself out there. On Saturday, February 23rd, I sent out a mass email to all the people affiliated with our office announcing the release of Sebastian, The Hairless Squirrel. For the most part, they were all very supportive and needless to say shocked. There were a couple that I work very closely with and consider them friends who didn't even acknowledge my email. This speaks volumes to me. Just remember, when you are getting ready to go out of your comfort zone and put yourself out for the world to see, expect some people to not be happy for you, or even willing to offer a bit of support. Expect some disappointment.
Those that truly know me, know how difficult it is for me to put myself out there. I am very shy and love to stay home in my comfort zone. So to those that offer support and a comforting word, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And for those that are scared to take that step and believe that what they have to offer is good enough...you are good enough, don't let fear stop you from going after your dream!
Hello everyone, just thought I would jump on here and give an update. Our beachfront condo is on the market, and my husband and I are taking our time to find a new home. We want a project. Crazy I know. He is actually on office duty with me today, wouldn't it be great if he sold our condo? Oh, by the way, congrats to him for writing his first offer on a property since becoming a realtor!
Anyway, Tortured Soul will be available on March 17th through Amazon! I'm so excited. Sebastian, The Hairless Squirrel will also be available very soon. One for the adults and one for the kids.
Have a wonderful day!
I tried to post a video about the upcoming release of Tortured Soul and TikTok refused to run it. Apparently, the cover is too risque. I had to blur the cover photo before posting. The funny thing is, I got more views on that post than any other. Maybe that means more people will buy it. If you are easily offended by language and sexual situations, this book is not for you.
Hey everyone. I hope all is well. I have been extremely busy trying to get everything done. Just to give you an idea, I am working on getting Tortured Soul on Amazon. This will hopefully happen next week. I have also been working on The Altar Boy, Mirrored Souls and trying to figure out the illustrations for my next children's book.
We are also in the process of trying to sell our condo. When your husband is your realtor, it's quite an adventure. We are not sure we actually want it to sell, decisions, decisions. We do love our little piece of paradise. Needless to say, I am so glad Dry January is over! Until next time.
This is a teaser of Mirrored Souls, the continuation of Maggie and Jason. Let me know what you think.
Tiny grains of soft, white sand caressed Maggie’s feet as she made her way to the ocean’s edge. Waves crashed and soaked her white sheer cover-up, exposing her now thin frail frame, a stark reminder of her time spent in the state hospital. She removed her floppy hat, allowing the breeze to toss her long, blonde hair, as she tilted her head back to embrace the warmth of the sun.
Maggie closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let the salt air fill her lungs. The solitude and tranquility of the beach was refreshing. She felt small and her troubles seemed insignificant next to the vast body of water; with the passing of each wave, her worries washed out to sea. This would be her new beginning; Muller Creek was far behind her, and she and Jason could finally move on from her tortured past.
Immersed in her thoughts, Maggie’s heart raced when a soft voice in the distance abruptly interrupted the silence. She opened her eyes and put on her floppy hat, not wanting to be recognized, before realizing no one was there. “Oh, dear Lord, please, not again.” She quickly turned and headed back to the house, when out of nowhere a young couple came into sight. Maggie was very confused; just a moment ago, no one was there. “How? Who? Where did they come from?” she whispered to herself.
This is the opening passage to The Altar Boy. Would you continue reading?
It is dark, and she is shivering uncontrollably as the cold rain pelts her naked body. Paralyzed with fear, she gasps with each shallow breath, as blood oozes from the gaping gash on her neck. Her attempts to scream are mute.
Putting one hand on her neck, desperately trying to slow the bleeding, and using the other to steady herself, she attempts to inch her way out. Grimacing in pain with each movement, she continues to climb. Her feet slipping on the wet, muddy ground. Her body weak from the loss of blood. Lightheaded and feeling as if she is going to pass out, her will to survive is stronger than the perpetrator’s attempt to silence her. By the grace of God, she finds the strength. Making her way to the top of the ditch as she collapses at the road’s edge.
I just wanted to jump on here and say thank you for your support. We have reached 14 different countries and 26 different states. I hope you all enjoyed Tortured Soul. Please look for it on Amazon in the next few months. I will let you know the exact date it will be released.
I am currently working on the sequel to Tortured Soul and another novel titled The Altar Boy; they are keeping me busy. I have also finished a new children's book. I am currently trying to find someone to help me illustrate it. I may end up doing it myself.
Again, thank you for your support. Please continue to check back, as I will continue to blog and publish other small poems, essays, etc.
Love to you all!
Well, here I am four days into my no resolutions, no diet, no added sugar, and no alcohol and life has thrown me my first curve ball. The insurance for my condo had increased from approximately $5000 a year to $14,000. Yes, you are reading that correctly. I will say I do live 500+ steps from the beach, but still, an increase of $9,000 dollars is crazy.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. With that being said, 2024 is right around the corner. I will be working hard on Mirrored Souls-Shattered (the sequel to Tortured Soul). I am hoping to have it ready by the end of 2024. Also, I will be removing Tortured Soul from my website on January 31, 2024. I am planning on self-publishing it on Amazon. I will keep you posted on the progression.
I truly would like to thank everyone that has taken the time to read my book.
Here is to a Happy and Healthy 2024.
Just wanted to jump on here and let you know that there are only 5 more chapters to Tortured Soul. I look forward to hearing how you liked the book or if you didn't like it. I am currently working on a sequel and would appreciate any feedback. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to read my little book. I appreciate all of you. I hope you and your family have a happy and healthy holiday season.
If you have difficulty celebrating the holidays for whatever reason, you are not alone. Many of us feel the loss of loved ones, especially at this time of year. I wrote this poem many years ago. Since then, my family has lost many other members, so this seems fitting to post. I love you and miss you all.
This little venture I am on, is quite therapeutic. I read a quote today, I'm not sure who wrote it, but it struck a chord with me.
The original publisher for Benji's Special Christmas Gift went out of business, so, I self-published on Amazon.com.
Here's something I wrote when I was just trying to make it through the day. Try not to judge a book by its cover, you never know what a person is going through. Wink, wink!
Are you there, God? What the Hell?
Who remembers the book, “Are You There, God It’s Me, Margaret”? If you have not endured the tortuous saga of little Margaret praying to God every day for her period as well as for breasts to fill out her bra, then ladies, I must request that you stop what you are doing and immerse yourself into the head of a prepubescent girl.
This book was given to every adolescent girl between the ages of ten and twelve. I am certain, that our mothers systematically passed this book around to every preteen in the neighborhood. Obviously, this was their way of relinquishing their responsibility of educating their daughters on the facts of life. So, for that, I need to give a shout out to Judy Blume for teaching every one of us just what a period was and why we would want to fill out our bras. And it is for that same reason that I’ve decided that Ms. Blume bring little Margaret back to the forefront with a sequel, titled “God Are You Still There? It’s Me, Margaret, What the Hell?”
Let us follow up on sweet, naive Margaret thirty-five years later. I am confident that if she knew what torture she was bestowing upon herself in each prayer she recited, she would say, “OH, HELL NO! Screw this shit, you bitches are on your own!” Here she sits, older, wiser, sweatier, heavier, exhausted, and angrier! So, what is it that brought me to this conclusion?
Well, one day, a typical day in the life and times of yours truly, a menopausal woman. That’s right, I said it, menopausal! I was going to run the vacuum. It was July, so the temperature was a bit warmer than maybe a woman in my condition would be comfortable with. But hey, it’s eight-thirty in the morning, how bad could it be?"
I got up off my couch and began my preparation. I retrieved the beast from its lair and began in the family room. And hey, so far so good. I proceeded through the remainder of the house, but by the time I had reached the final leg of my expedition, Niagara Falls somehow managed to pour out from my head. I was ringing wet… WHAT THE HELL! So, I ask you this, my friends, Margaret, and of course, Judy Blume, when did vacuuming become a water sport?
